He could see
by missmissyeyes
Summary: Alec always understood Magnus’ pain. “It didn’t matter, though. Because he knew Magnus could see. He knew Magnus could hear. He knew Magnus saw through the bombarding masks Alec had put up for himself—and himself only.” Magnus/Alec. Oneshot/drabble.


Gosh. I feel so half-assed after writing this; I just figured I'd pull out a short MagnusAlec fic before school starts.

It takes place during City of Ashes.

I guess this could (sort of) partner my other two MagnusAlec drabbles/oneshots: Monsoon and Ocean eyes.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments or the song "My Obsession".

I'm just the random creeper behind a computer. :]

**He could see.**

"You can kiss me with your torture

Tie me up to golden chains

Leave me beggin undercover

Wrong or right

It's all a role play."

-Cinema Bizarre, My obsession

It was cold this time of year. Even when Alec had covered himself in multiple layers of sweaters, he couldn't help but shiver. His naked hands, clenched lightly at his sides, came up and buried themselves deep into his old worn pockets. Though distracted by the slight ringing in his ears, when he'd heard the lazy squeak of the door echo through the hallowed halls, he looked up.

Magnus was dressed casually this particular evening; adorned by the plain, black shirt he would usually wear to bed. And though his jeans were tight, they clung onto him lighter than usual—even creasing in some places. He wore no flashy makeup; just a bit of faded eyeliner. "Darling?" Magnus had said, just when he'd opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

_What exactly was he doing here? _Alec had thought this was just a stage in his young life. A stage—in which—could only mean one thing.

Alec walked up to Magnus, placing his pale cold hand over his. They both twined their fingers together, silently—but very, very loudly. To him, this one gesture screamed years of emotions—many fates and taluses. Alec felt the usual anger and hatred burn deep in his chest; running like hot magma, yet slowing like treacherous cooling lava. He felt something else, too—he just couldn't make out exactly what. He had secretly yearned for it.

It made his breathing quicken, his heart fasten—more emotions start to creep up his skin, gradually making his eyes sting. The ringing in his ears would slowly grow louder, much more heated than before. And he knew; he knew that if this continued, he'd shriek at himself later. Maybe even bawl, much like a child.

He was very well in denial. He was repeatedly sought by the burning black coals of the heavens; was cooled by the unfathomable ocean depths of hell. The feeling of the other man's lips would only make it worse… but much, much better.

As soon as Alec felt Magnus' lips brush against the crook of his neck, a surprising flash of pleasure hit him. Magnus' lips always drove knives against his skin, leaving hidden scars only Alec could see; only Alec could feel.

Without thinking, Alec grabbed onto the back of Magnus' neck, pulling him closer.

This made the burning worse, but made the gratification even better. When his lips started to travel up to Alec's ear—when his lean arms started to work their way to his hips, Alec only grew more bemused with himself.

Why? If he liked Jace so much—then why? Why would he feel so… amazed? So shared? Yet so outlawed at the same time?

_It's just a kiss,_ he would think. _A kiss of the same-sex. _

A kiss that made him vow—a kiss that made him beg—a kiss that made him want.

Alec practically jumped under Magnus' growing gestures, deep whimpers escaping his lips. He was enjoying it—yet, at the same time, he didn't want it. How could he be so deluded? How could he be so pathetic?

It didn't matter, though. Because he knew Magnus could see. He knew Magnus could hear. He knew Magnus saw through the bombarding masks Alec had put up for himself—and himself only.

Magnus knew he couldn't help but think of _Jace's_ lips, _Jace's_ touch. Not the feel of Magnus' dark hair, his lean chest—but the feeling of a certain blonde's.

When Magnus' jaw raked against his own, his body knew what was coming. He started to feel faint. His knees began to shake; his ears began to screech in agony. His grip gradually grew tighter—stronger. His mouth grew as dry as sand, and his eyes began to collect tears.

Alec was hurting Magnus. He could feel it—he could sense it.

Only because it hurt him, too.

Every time he kissed him, he had always felt Magnus' lips burn with a deep scorch of undeniable passion. He had always felt like he was drowning.

He felt like he was gasping for air, he felt like his lungs were filling up with water.

_A nightmare,_ he would think.

An amazing nightmare.


End file.
